I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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