I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
