No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
