She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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