Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
