butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
