We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
