i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
