ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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