"it" just moved
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
