Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
