If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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