At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
