Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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