Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
