Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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