plz talk dirty to me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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