so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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