this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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