he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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