you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
