Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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