My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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