that's an acceptable place to lick
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize