I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
