five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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