i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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