We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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