Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
