Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
