i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
