You just made me feel so damn special
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
