We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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