is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
