i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
