That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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