I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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