gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
