Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
