Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well you can't waste a boner
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
