There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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