took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
