I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
