On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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