This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
are you so shy because you have an std?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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