Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
