I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
