seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
