and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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