i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
