If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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