I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
