real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
