What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
